This week I joined a bible study with a group of ladies from my church! I knew from past experience that this was going to get the devil all riled up. You see, when he sees you reading your Bible, telling others about Jesus, and just over all spreading the Love of Jesus far and wide...he has buttons to push. The buttons are different for each person. For me, the devil starts with the marriage button, then moves on to the child button, the finance button, the work button, and just continues till I cave or surrender all to Jesus.
I like to sometimes picture the devil with a game controller and he's just trying to defeat all the levels in my heart and mind. Well, this week, he created and added a new button. It was the "being a stay at home mom" button.
Yes, he knows where to strike and let me tell ya, that button had a punch behind it. It put doubt in my mind, revealed what others close to me thought about the dream, confused me, and well, you get the point. I seriously felt like my dream was getting farther and farther out of my reach.
So tonight while J and A were doing their own thing, I decided I was tired of being cheerful and happy on the outside and self-doubting on the inside. So I turned off the TV and went to my homework for the Bible Study. As I was doing the prep work, which entailed me reading a particular passage in the Good Book, I got my 2x4 upside the head!
Ya see, I am a bit stubborn when it comes to hearing God. Sometimes my heart is so torn and my thoughts are out of control so much that I can't tell if I am hearing Him or hearing my own thoughts. So, I pray and ask Him to reveal the answer to me like a 2x4 upside the head....
Anyways, back to my bump on the head! The passage was Romans 8:28-39. We were advised by the author to read it slowly and ask God to speak to us directly. As I got to the 32 verse, my eyes filled with tears and it felt as if I couldn't breath because I was so overcome by it. I slowly realized that God used this Bible Study to speak to me about the new button. The verse says 'He who did not spare his own son but gave him up for us all - how will He not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?'
Think about it...what kind of limits do we set on God and His awesome power? How many times have we prayed and prayed for something but then spoke to others that you doubted it would happen?
I pray that with this verse, I can difuse all of the buttons. As a matter of fact, with this verse, I should remember that regardless of what button is used, God's got control of it all.