Chains and Keys

My chains are gone. I've been set free. My God, My savior has ransomed me...

Its commonly known by my family and friends that during church, the music speaks to me more than sermons. When I first heard this song, I was moved to tears. I remember raising my hands and thanking God that I had no chains. Because when you hear the word chains, you think of something major. I was imagining slaves having their chains taken off, cancer patients leaving their chemo sessions for the last time with GIANT smiles on their faces, children hugging their forever families for the first time...you know..Huge life altering events. Not something so insignificant, so silly that it's embarrassing to admit that you feel it. But last night it dawned on me that something keeps you from your joy, keeps you from fellowship with others...then it IS a chain. The fear of going places by yourself, the thought of facing someone from your past or just not knowing what the next step is in your walk with Christ. If it halts your progress in life, it is a chain.

When the fear sets in, we have to remind ourselves that it's something that God has already set you free. That thought/fear is something that's not worth holding onto because He has already given you the key...you just have to use it!

What is your chain? Once you figure it out, look for the key. God gives us a key in different shapes and forms. Your key could be a friend that just won't stop inviting you to church, a song that keeps popping into your head or it could be just sitting still in God's presence.

KK

Mother's Day Recap

This year, due to scheduling conflicts and budget issues, I was unable to see my momma on Mother's day. :( I did not care for this at all and neither did she! I am thinking that next year we will be having a mommy and me trip somewhere to make up for it!

Anyways, A and J made my mother's day very special as they do every year. J had wanted me to get some flowers and plants, so a few weeks ago, we made a trip to l0w3s and bought several plants, flowers and shrubs.

J picked out all the flowers including the pink hydrangea! She then helped me plant the smaller ones!  I am happy to report that my killer thumb hasn't been successful as of yet! :)

My Mother's Day weekend was jam packed with activities! Friday, I went to J's school and had a picnic in the gym with her and her classmates. Then it was off to some appointments and finished the day with a girl scout meeting that night!

Saturday, we walked in the 73rd Annual Portland Strawberry Parade with our troop! It was so fun and the girls all did a great job waving and singing!!!

On Sunday, A and J treated me to j3t's pizza, a brisk walk in the park, a much needed nap and a few homemade gifts from J's school! We also had a couple of  movie nights with Iron Man 2 and Thor.


Overall, I got more love from them than I deserve! I thank God for all of the gifts He has given me. I am truly blessed and extremely grateful for my family and their love!

I hope you had a chance to call, visit, talk to you mom this past weekend. I have several loved ones that weren't able to do so, as their mom's have already made it home to be with Jesus. I pray that those of us who still have their mom's here on earth don't take this time for granted.


KK

Happy New Year!

Sing it with me "should old aquaintance be forgot...."

What?!?

Yes, I am aware that it is April 11th.

No, I have not lost ALL of my mind, yet!

Ya see, today is a new day. Its the start of a new chapter in my life! No, not preggers yet, but on my way to getting healthy enough to be preggers! :) I have diabetes. It runs all through my family on both sides and I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with J. I am truly thankful that it is manageable through a diet and a couple of pills a day.

So, when A and I decided that J had done enough begging and pleading for a baby brother AND sister,  I went to the doctor recently to get a check up. They did the labs and sent me on my way to patiently wait for the results.

Good news? My A1C has gone down. Bad news? It wasn't enough. I am sitting at 7.4 and the doctor says 'No Baby' till I am at 6.0. Before going to the doctor, I did my research of diabetes and being pregnant. There are some scarey complications that can come up if I don't have it under control before getting pregnant. They even suggests being at an average fasting sugar of 80-100 for six months before hand. Currently my fasting is at 130ish. That translates into going on a strict carb counting, eating more veggies and fruit, exercising as much as possible diet!  So its OUT with the pizza, french fries, cheesecakes, milkshakes and other yummy delicious treats and IN with the good things like apples, grapes, veggie soup, and aerobics!

The goal is to be off of ALL medications and to have the 6.0 that my doctor is looking for. I am also researching for a high risk doctor to help through this as well. I know some of this may be too much info, but I believe that sharing my story will result in advice from others who are in my situation and may even inspire others to get their diabetes together as well!

Got any tips? Recipes? I would love to hear from some of you out there! Comment below and share this posts with your friends!

Did someone say Frazzled?

Last week, I had mentioned that I started a Bible Study with a group of FABULOUS ladies from my church. Its called Victoriously Frazzled Female and let me tell ya, its been a wild ride so far and we are only on Week 2!

This week it talks about releasing control and giving God all of it. I had a tough time struggling with it because like most moms, I am not about to admit that I am a control freak! Everything is just in a particular order that makes sense to myself and other moms...Just ask my husband! LOL
Anyways, as I began the homework for this week, I prayed and asked God to reveal to me what I need to loosen my control over and to let Him take over. Little did I know that the reveal was coming later that night!

It all started with a trip to J's school for a Parent/Teacher Conference. I knew that they were going to raise the issue with J's maturity level. They had been mentioning that since the second day of school! I figure, just give her time and let her get used to things again. Then I started making the excuses that the teacher was too tough, she's an only child, she will blossom into it after Christmas break, and so on and so on.

Her teacher started out the conference telling us how wonderful we had done working with her and her homework. She also mentioned how J is the sweetest child she has ever taught...then there was the BUT! She felt that J's maturity was going to be a major issue next year and we needed to consider holding her back in the Second Grade.

Really?!?! My child? How is that possible? The one who has been bringing home wonderful grades all year and who has improved in her reading skills, would need to be held back?!?! I immediately started thinking there was no way in the world I was going to do that! What about her friends? What about her Girl Scouts? This was not going according to MY plan!
 
I cried all the way home. I was shocked and my mind just started barreling out of control with crazy scenarios and countless questions. It was then my husband asked me a question that I couldn't answer.
How should a Christian react to this? Should we pray about it and leave it to God? Or should we keep turning a blind eye to it and just go with the flow?

It was then that I realized that God revealed what I had asked Him.

As a mother, you plan everything for your child. You set goals for your child and help them to achieve it. But when you are planning/dreaming of how it is going to be, you don't realize that God may have a different plan and if we aren't careful, it can jump up out of no where and that's when you feel like you are losing control! I unfortunately did not plan the little hiccups and this was exactly where I needed to step back and let God take control.

If there is something that you have control over, I pray that you trust Him enough to say "Here ya go, Lord! I know You can do better with this than I can!"

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Buttons and 2x4's

This week I joined a bible study with a group of ladies from my church! I knew from past experience that this was going to get the devil all riled up. You see, when he sees you reading your Bible, telling others about Jesus, and just over all spreading the Love of Jesus far and wide...he has buttons to push. The buttons are different for each person. For me, the devil starts with the marriage button, then moves on to the child button, the finance button, the work button, and just continues till I cave or surrender all to Jesus.

I like to sometimes picture the devil with a game controller and he's just trying to defeat all the levels in my heart and mind. Well, this week, he created and added a new button. It was the "being a stay at home mom" button.

Yes, he knows where to strike and let me tell ya, that button had a punch behind it. It put doubt in my mind, revealed what others close to me thought about the dream, confused me, and well, you get the point. I seriously felt like my dream was getting farther and farther out of my reach.

So tonight while J and A were doing their own thing, I decided I was tired of being cheerful and happy on the outside and self-doubting on the inside. So I turned off the TV and went to my homework for the Bible Study. As I was doing the prep work, which entailed me reading a particular passage in the Good Book, I got my 2x4 upside the head!

Ya see, I am a bit stubborn when it comes to hearing God. Sometimes my heart is so torn and my thoughts are out of control so much that I can't tell if I am hearing Him or hearing my own thoughts. So,  I pray and ask Him to reveal the answer to me like a 2x4 upside the head....

Anyways, back to my bump on the head! The passage was Romans 8:28-39. We were advised by the author to read it slowly and ask God to speak to us directly. As I got to the 32 verse, my eyes filled with tears and it felt as if I couldn't breath because I was so overcome by it. I slowly realized that God used this Bible Study to speak to me about the new button. The verse says 'He who did not spare his own son but gave him up for us all - how will He not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?'

Think about it...what kind of limits do we set on God and His awesome power? How many times have we prayed and prayed for something but then spoke to others that you doubted it would happen?

I pray that with this verse, I can difuse all of the buttons. As a matter of fact, with this verse, I should remember that regardless of what button is used, God's got control of it all.

KK

Craving God?

The flu bug made an appearance this week at the homestead and happily it has been defeated! On Tuesday, I had to leave work early to pick up J from school. As I driving, I was listening to my favorite Christian Music station and a commercial for Proverbs 31 Ministries was played. The lady was talking about dieting and how difficult it is to lose weight with all the massive cravings you get during it....but then she asked "are we craving God as much as we are craving the junk food?" Well, this just about blew me off the road! Think about it. How many times have you said "Oh, I would just die for a chance to do this or to have that?" It made me think about how much I long to be a SAHM and I had to ask myself am I craving God more than I am craving my desires? I mean, I listen to Christain Music, take my Bible to work, teach my child about Jesus, you know..all the Christain things to do. But is it a craving? If so, is it a craving to want more from Him or for just Him? Am I yearning to learn more about Him or do I do just enough to remain comfortable?

I just picked up Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food by Lysa TerKeurst to help me learn more. I will let you know how it turns out! :)

Have a blessed day!

Uh oh...

We've all been there. You are saying to yourself "Well, I did it again." The one thing that you promised that you would never do again. You feel like you have let someone down and you wonder how you can face him or her again. In some cases it may be a promise to a spouse, parent or a sibling that has been broken. But what happens when you feel like you have let God down? The One who continues to bless you regardless of your 'mistakes.' I don't know about you but that is the lowest, loneliest I have ever felt. We tend to think God would give up on us or walk away from us because we "humanize" Him. We feel as if he would react the way our flesh would.

Guess what? There are NO boundaries to His love for you!!! He loves you regardless of your faults and failures!! His love is so powerful, His grace unending and His mercy limitless, that we can't even fathom where it ends!!

So pick yourself up off the floor, stop kicking yourself, and pray! When you feel as if you are headed down that road again, pray that God give you the strength and wisdom to withstand this trial/temptation...and He will Give it to you!

One of my favorite quotes: 'If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it!'

Suggested worship song:

Give me Faith by Elevation Worship

Bridge:
I may be weak
But your spirit's strong in me
My flesh may fail
But my God, You never will